Continuation

Something Seems To Be Missing. I Have No Idea What It Is.

Why Does It Have To Happen To Me? Do People Really Don't Like Me? Or Is It My Imagination? Am I Really That Bad? Am I Creepy? Or Do I Stink?

I Don't Know Why But I Think Everybody Is Telling The Truth, Even Though Deep Down Inside I Know That Its Not.

Everything Is Real And Yet And Illusion.

No Matter What, I Will Continue To Strive, Continue To Improve, Continue To Love, Continue To Fall, Continue To Rise, Continue To Smile And Continue To Remind Myself Of This Continuity...

Mixed Emotions....

Today Was A Hard Day.....As It Is There Are People In My Life Who Want To Make My Life Miserable....

My Dad Broke The News To Me.... A Relative Passed Away..... He Was To Get His Younger Daughter Married Soon....And Then This Happened....

Somehow It Seems To Happen To People Who Are About To Do Something In Life....

Although He Was Not Very Close To Me And I Have Hardly Met Him 5-6 Times As A Kid....Yet He Conjures Sweet Memories When I Think Of Him....I Met Him As A Kid When He Built His Own House....We Were His Guests....He Showed Me The Pond, The Farm, The House....Made Good Food, Took Care Of His Ailing Wife And Two Daughters....A Person Whom I Would Call The 'Ideal Man'....

Its Such A Blow, Such A Loss....May His Soul Rest In Peace....

And Then My Dad Told Me Something To Cheer Me Up....

He Met A Old Friend Of Mine From School.... The Friend Was Full Of Genuine Praise For Me As A Man, A Friend And A Professional....And He Was Speaking On Behalf Of All My School Friends..... Not That I Am A Narcissist, But This Thing Came From A Person Whom I Have Grown Up With And Has Seen Me From Close Quarters....He Knows All My Shortcomings And Yet He Admires Me For The Person I Am....I Know He Would Not Tell Me This On His Own......

Love You Guys! You Know Who You Are....

Missing

I Am Missing Right Now...

My Support System: Anmol, Ashish, Maxy, Shrinil, Akshay, Dandi...

I Have Changed So Much...

Or Is Something Wrong? With Me? With Others?

Is This My Destiny?

Loneliness? Secluded?

Yin? Yang?

What Have I Done Wrong? Whats My Fault?

God.

How I Wish....

How I Wish I ....
How I Wish I ....Was Brilliant
How I Wish I ....Was Topper In Exams
How I Wish I ....Was Studying In IIT
How I Wish I ....I Could Make A Difference
How I Wish I ....Was A Good Guitarist
How I Wish I ....Was A Good Singer
How I Wish I ....Was A Good Researcher
How I Wish I ....Was Handsome
How I Wish I ....Wasen't Lonely
How I Wish I ....Everybody Would Love Me
How I Wish .... The World Was A Better Place With No Problems
How I Wish I .... Didn't Exist

No One????

I just went through
-My Orkut friend list...
-My Yahoo messenger friend list...
-Phone book of my cell phone...
And didnt find a single person whom I can just speak my heart out...

Sigh!!

The Heart Has Its Reasons...

I Got The Following As Forward....Take A Moment To Read It...

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Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing but
just gazing into the sky, while all their friends are having fun
with their beloved half.

Tina: I'm so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.

Peter: I guess we're the only leftovers. We're the only person who isn't with a date now. (both sigh in silence for a while)

Tina: I think I have a good idea. Let's play a game.

Peter: Eh? What game?

Tina: Eem. It's quite simple. You'll be my boyfriend for 100 days and I'll be your girlfriend for 100 days. What do you think?

Peter: Oookay. Anyway I don't have any plan for the next few months.

Tina: You sound like you aren't looking forward to it at all.Cheer up. Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?

Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.

Tina: Seems like I don't have any better idea than this. Let's move. (went to watch their movies and sent each other home)

Day 2:Peter and Tina went to a concert together, and Peter bought Tinaa keychain with a star.

Day 3: They went shopping together for a friend's birthday present. Shared anice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.

Day 7: Peter drove Tina to a mountain and they watched the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they sat on the grass gazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by. Tina mumbled something.

Day 25:Spent time at a theme park and got onto roller coasters, and atehotdogs and cotton candy. Peter and Tina got in the haunted houseand Tina grabbed someone's hand instead of Peter's hand by accident. Theylaughed together for a while.

Day 67: They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. Themidget asked Tina to play a part as his assistant in the magic show.Went around to see other entertainments around after the show.Came to a fortune teller and she just said "Treasure every moment from
now on"and a tear rolled down the fortune teller's cheek.

Day 84: Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn't so crowded that day. They had their first kiss with each other just as the sunwas setting.

Day 99:They decided to have a simple day and walked around the city.They sat down onto a bench.

1:23 pm
Tina: I'm thirsty. Let's rest for a while first.
Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks. What would you like?
Tina: Eem. Apple juice will be just fine.

1:43 pm
Tina waited for about 20 minutes and Peter hadn't returned.
Then someone walked up to her.

Stranger: Is your name Tina?
Tina: Yes, and may I help you?
Stranger: Just now down there on the street a drunk driver has crashedinto a guy. I think it's your friend.

Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sawPeter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital
with Peter. Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a halfhours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.

11:51 pm
Doctor: I'm sorry but we did the best we could. He is still breathingnow but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket. The doctor handed over the letter toTina and she went into the room to see Peter. He looked weak but peaceful.Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears.

Here is what the letter said.

Tina, our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all thesedays. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realized that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to
knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that wecan extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you.

11:58
Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were supposed to last 100 days so Peter! You can't leave me! I LOVE YOU, but can you come back to me now? I love you Peter. I LOVE YOU.

As the clock struck twelve, Peter's heart stopped beating. It was100 days.

Well I won't ask you to send this to EVERYONE you love or hate but I will ask you to treasure everyone that hastaken apart in your life. Tell the guy or girl that you love them beforeit's
too late. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow. You neverknow who will be leaving you and never return.

"The heart has its reasons which reason cannot know..."

...........

Ones nationality is ones identity...and I am a proud INDIAN...

There is so much pride in being born in such a beautiful country like India...
Beautiful life, beautiful people, beautiful everything...
Maybe everything is not perfect about India, but then nothing in this world is perfect...

Today is Republic Day...What national pride!!
But, I am not proud of myself...

I always wanted to join the armed forces and protect my motherland...Be a dedicated son...
Make everyone proud of me...Make INDIA proud of me...

But here I am, doing nothing...
Short and stout...Will never make it to the armed forces...

Next option is to be a public servant...
I tried preparing for UPSC exams...to become a IAS, IPS, IFS officer...
But...no brains!! Only hard work is not enough to sail through these exams...

But, nevertheless, I am determined...to do something...for my motherland..
Maybe take INDIA to the next pedestal of scientific research...
Maybe...Just Maybe...
Wish me luck folks!!!

Someday India will be proud to have a son like me....
Eventhough I may not achieve what I have set out for...
But I will be proud...that I tried...